it’s okay that’s not love


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“when you comeback in town, let’s go out together” he said on our latest chat, he was about to catch me up to Bandung today but we have to reschedule since we both have some works to do.

This guy just another very ordinary guy who decorate my cellphone screen with his messages. It’s been months since the first time we got intense communication. We were friends back  then but not that close, he was asked for my number at path and discuss with me to design his room. I just enjoy our conversation.

and then i remember when my friend Irena said “If you get close to someone and you have feeling towards him don’t forget to get information about him, stalk him on any social media, what you got might be hurt you, but at least you have your own shield right from the start”

She was kinda right, i remember when the last time i had crush on someone who turns into good friends, i had some expectations for him, until when i know he dated someone without i know it and i never dig some information about him since i think it’s not appropriate and half of my heart feel so scared about what i got. long story short, i cannot stand to tell him what i’m feeling. When he moved to his new house i just wanted to say goodbye at first but i ended up tell everything inside with nothing to lose feeling, i didn’t care he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. and what i got it’s not that painful

“i was liking you too back then, i wanted to date you but i know i can’t! since we never be single at the same time, and remember when i asked you out oftenly just two of us? i know we both single, but i was suddenly lost my way to tell you” he said with deep sigh after that. “i thought anyone who gets you is a lucky guy” he smirked.

I hadn’t look into anyone else beside my last crush and never thought to go out on date even some friends try to set me up, until this not- so- long- lost- guy-friend started this intense communication, maybe it’s just a feeling of loneliness and there’s someone unexpectedly come to me and i feel kind of comfort, it makes me feel….content.

I took my friend advice to be a social media stalker, what i got was really turn me down nicely,

sometimes i think to myself why everybody got somebody but me,

i think i have to hold on a lil bit more, let’s not love in the future with this guy,

so let’s not love because we don’t know about each other yet

let’s not love because actually i’m afraid to make promise

let’s not love because

i want to save the right place for the right person who is even better 🙂

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2 thoughts on “it’s okay that’s not love

  1. Irena says:

    I’ve been known soooo many people in my life. And the truth is… You’re on the top 5 of my – the kindest and sincerest person – list. I love you Mbak Din, and keep being you!! ❤

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