Mungkin…adalah nanti?

Mungkin nanti ada waktunya kita bertemu dan saling jatuh cinta

ya itu mungkin

Mungkin nanti ada kalanya kita berada ditempat dimana kita saling sakit hati

dan itu hanya mungkin

Mungkin nanti akan ada suatu cahaya yang mengeluarkanku dari hati yang gelap

Cahaya yang juga akan menyinariku serta menuntunku dan pada akhirnya aku sampai padamu

jika mungkin itu terjadi nanti..

biarkanlah itu terjadi

karna aku tak sabar menanti

Untuk melanjutkan petualangan ini

bersama-sama dengan hati

nanti…




Advertisements

letter to Geena from my sentimental heart

A letter for my best friend Geena

Dear Fuka,

i’m writting for you again..Entah ini surat yang keberapa yang aku tuliskan untuk kau. Tapi yang aku tahu di situasi yang seperti ini aku benar-benar membutuhkan seseorang seperti dirimu. Kau pasti juga tak heran kenapa aku memberika judul seperti diatas..dari percakapan kita sore ini sudah jelas kita mengalami masalah kita masing-masing. Masalah kita berbeda namun kita serasa senasib. Serupa tapi tidak sama.

Kamu bercerita betapa ribetnya mengurusi berkas-berkas untuk ke universitas.  Belum lagi orang-orang yang seharusnya membantumu paling tidak untuk berdiskusi mereka terlalu sibuk dengan urusan masing-masing. Mereka bahkan tidak memperdulikanmu. aku tidak bisa bantu apa-apa karena kita berdua terlalu jauh. aku cuma bisa bilang  semoga semuanya cepat berlalu dan terselesaikan dengan baik.

Aku disini sedang berada di tingkat kejenuhan tertinggi. itu juga yang menjadi alasanku untuk kabur dari Jakarta ke Bandung. “aku disini kaya hidup senediri! i wish you were here fuka!” keluhmu tadi..aku menjawab “long distance nggak sejelek itu kok buktinya kita bisa kan?” ..terus kau bilang “yes we’re different”

Fuka anything has changed around me…i wont mention you what things are they, in here. life is getting harder lately…i found out that the boy i loved yesterday didnt love me like i do, fuka. I dont know who i should trust now..maybe only God, and some other reasons that makes me want to comeback home. and this heart is really aching tonight..not only for my lovelife reason

Fuka kalau hati ini rasanya udah gak sanggup lagi buat nahan, yes i know im at my lowest point..i cant hold on my tears now..Fuka as soon as you read this i want you to pray for me tonight and i’ll pray for you too. i know God is love us whether we’re wrong or right..this wound has opened way too long..i need somebody to sew them up..and maybe it’s you fuka…

and from now on i’ll try to make my own happiness with myself..



Move on

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
he takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can’t, ’cause he’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….

(john mayer- dreaming with the broken heart)

tomorrow is my second midtest day, ok i mean today, it’s barely  2am and still cannot sleep..but thank God the exam starts at 10am…hmm before i forgot i wanna tell you something, it’s been a tough tough days lately..about 2 weeks ago i lost my boy..he was giving up caused by the distance between us. Can’t do anything i’d been crying the whole week until my body was getting sick..i didn’t feel healthy anymore. Just like that mr. Mayer’s song…he couldn’t stay anymore cause he’s gone gone gone..gone…

Maybe i was still hoping (maybe a bit now) that he will back. But one thing i learnt about that broken moment  if he loved me he would never let me go, no matter how hard the situation was.

“Say it isn’t so
Tell me you’re not leaving
Say you’ve changed your mind now,
That I am only dreaming,
That this is not goodbye,
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don’t wanna let go,
So say it isn’t so”

(Gareth gates- say it isn’t so)

He was a good guy, best i’ve ever got..it was hard for the first break up week..it was the hardest good bye. But thank God day by day i realize and i find out. I cannot waiting for him he might be heaven on earth but i’ve got to move on to find another heaven..ok maybe not only heaven on earth but more than that. maybe i can call it “heaven and home”.

I’m done with broken people
This is me
I’m working on (cause I know)
Good love is on the way
I’ve been lonely but I know, I’ll be ok
Good love is on the way

(John mayer- Good love is on the way)

For you, thanks for the previous relationship we had, it was great to know that i really really love you because i had never love a guy this much like i did to you. One thing i know broken heart is like broken mirror, it’s much way better to leave it than hurt myself to fix it. It’s OK by me now..like you said “if we meant to be i’ll never run away from you..i wont go anywhere but you”, i guess you’re right, everybody says “kalau jodoh gak kemana” and then while i’m waiting i will go everywhere maybe far from you…miles away than the distance that separate us now.

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now i’m gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I’m gonna do somethings you wouldn’t let me do
Oh i’m gonna find another you

I will…maybe like this

from tumblr

or as cute as this

tumblr (fuckyeahharryshum

and of course he’ll never let me go and certainly accept me the way i am

also thank you for my friends