at least i can do what i like to kill my time

whoaaaa it’s been so long since the last time i touched huge water color paper and the water color. so last weekend i decided to spend my saturday night dated with my beloved Sakura watercolor. And this is what i painted

hadn't done yet

the girl refference was from Zooey deschannel and Natasha khan. why them? because i enjoy much their face..then it’s the result after 7 hours full of patience

trash! but i like it. done it with mixed media on a2 paper

the real result is with my friend, lita. this piece is belong to her. i will took the good picture of this when i go to hers. i think this is not that bad since i painted it less than 24 hours it took 7 hours and it’s A2 which is really good for procrasinator like me.  i want to paint something crazier soon. i’ll submit more my works here ASAP.


School’s Trouble

The trouble with schools is they always try to teach the wrong lesson believe me, i’ve been kicked out of enough of them to know they want you to become less callow less shallow but i say: “why invite stress in?” stop studying strife and learn to life”the unexamined life”

Fiyero – Ost Wicked broadway song (dancing through life)

Diatas tadi merupakan kutipan lagu dancing through life yang merupakan soundtrack teater musikal terkenal broadway “Wicked”. Saya ingin berbagi tentang masalah saya ketika saya masih bersekolah dulu. Awalnya ketika membaca tulisan teman saya #mce_temp_url# (silahkan klik dan baca). Dari situ saya berfikir untuk mengeluarkan apa yang bertahun-tahun membuat saya bingung dengan sistem pendidikan. Mungkin yang terjadi pada saya dan teman saya itu bukan hanya di sekolah kami saja (kami bersekolah di tempat yang sama) tetapi mungkin hampir semua sekolah terutama sekolah favorit.

The wrong lesson disini bukan mata pelajarannya yang salah tetapi cara mereka mengajari kita dalam melihat dunia luar. Saya bukanlah murid yang pintar dari SD sampai SMA. Hampir setiap selesai terima rapor waktu  SD dulu saya sering kali menangis karena orang tua saya kecewa dengan prestasi belajar saya di sekolah pada saat itu, guru selalu bilang hal yang sama kepada ortu saya “Anak bapak/ibu sangat lambat dalam belajar, sering melamun, nilainya tidak bagus”. Saya mengerti kalau saya tidak pintar dan tidak bisa jadi anak kesayangan guru. Dari situ saya hanya mengejar kekurangan saya dengan belajar matematika, IPA, IPS, dll. Apakah itu membuat saya pintar? saya jadi makin ragu kemana arah saya sebenarnya. Itukah jalan yang terbaik? mengejar kekurangan? bukankah seharusnya kelebihan kita yang menentukan masa depan kita? 😦

Pada saat saya masuk kelas satu SMA tidak banyak yang berubah dengan prestasi belajar saya. Biasa saja tidak menyenangkan malah terkesan jelek. Tetapi pada saat itu ada yang lebih menyakitkan ketika salah satu guru SMP saya bertemu dengan saya di suatu acara. Dengan terang-terangan dia membanding-banding adik saya yang pintar dan juara dengan saya yang tak ada apa-apanya, apa maksudnya?!  Saya memang bodoh tetapi saya tahu apa yang saya mau. Tolong jangan judge saya terlalu cepat karena anda tidak kenal dengan saya.

Tetapi dari semua rasa sakit itu saya mencoba untuk terus move on. Saya mencoba untuk tidak peduli dengan nilai dan lebih fokus kepada mengambil ilmunya, Sayapun memulai untuk mempercayakan insting saya. mencoba pelajari hal-hal baru yang saya sukai. Beruntunglah di tahun terakhir sekolah saya diajar dengan guru-guru hebat yang pantas saya sebut dengan pengajar. Guru-guru yang mendukung penuh keputusan yang saya ambil ketika saya kuliah dan mau mendengarkan rencana-rencana masa depan saya.

PS untuk guru yang suka men Judge murid-muridnya dari nilainya: Saya tahu menjadi guru itu tidak mudah tetapi sebagai pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa bisakah mencoba untuk lebih membimbing kami ke arah yang seharusnya kami disitu. Membimbing kami untuk bercita-cita dan mengajari kami bagaimana mencintai pekerjaan yang kami lakukan nantinya? bisakah?

Mohon maaf saya hanya mengeluarkan apa yang ada dalam hati saya

About (a) M(e)n (e=a?)

hey folks, mind to listen my story?

i’m not gonna tell you about my precious experience because i’m not in the mood with it now. From the above you might think that i got a crush (again) on a guy but i’m not. in case, when i got to Jakarta i’ve met so many amazing single people especially guys. and i wanna tell you about one of them.

he’s a 30 something single guy but still look very young in his age. a part time teacher,student, musician, and full time artist.

i can’t tell you who’s the guy all i just can say that he’s my friend, my random friend.

why random? because i don’t see him a lot in days. so what’s special about him?

is he cute? not

six packs body? not!

He’s naturally thoughtfull and nice. i met him today, and had conversation with him, it was so inspiring as usual. he was still look so elegant even with that band Tshirt and jeans, people might think he’s just an another metal freak or a performer or just an ordinary artist. But beyond those things he’s an inspiring person. Sometimes i think “why a man like him is still alone? how can he survive without any woman touch in his age? most of guys in his age are maintaining family, has he ever get lonely?”, sometimes i also think “why girls let him alone? he’s pretty attractive and special?”.  Seems like he’s fine with himself (OK he’s definetly not a gay)   he maybe not as handsome as Johnny depp but he knows his inner beauty. there is something strong and beautifull appear from him and not every guy has it. He’s passionate about what everything he’s doing.

He never trying so hard to look good in front of the girls but i know there are so many girls having a crush on him ( i know some of them, they’re dying to date a guy like him) just maybe he’s kind of serious guy and very clever they don’t want to look dumb in his eyes so they decided to let him go and adore him secretly. he keeps every bad things in positive way, stay calm at the disaster situation, appreciate anyone, refuse anyone in a good way. the most important thing is how amazing his action. he don’t talk much but when words come from his mouth is like a positive spell.

he makes me feel better with myself and makes me wonder “who needs boyfriend if single man like you is around me, your action is so inspired me, your words aaah i don’t know all i know that you’re beyond smart”. I’m not in love with this guy…no..and no way. There’s somebody in this world for him. it’s just like everytime i see him, his eyes told me this “you’re young, keep on your good works, don’t give any shits about bad things people say to you, look at me now,,if i can sure you can”

Someday if i got a chance to meet someone like him younger and fresh i would be so blessed. I would celebrate the day and embrace that moment. 🙂

image from tumblr

last but not least i love the way he dress up..go to work and school with just band tees, sometimes with plaid shirts and blue ripped jeans *you might not believe me he’s 30 something right?*

where have i been?

at wisma Kinasih Cibinong, photo by Irena

i’ve been tired doing some college stuff

i went to help World Vision Indonesia which was tiredly fun…and learnt a lot of things there for a view days i will put this experience into my “best about 2010” list

and in the other side i have some stuff to do next..praise Allah i’ve got some job to do..hopefully i can make it best *amin*

now i want to take a rest for a moment before i post about my good and maybe inspiring story..